i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
