Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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