I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
