Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
