I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
