so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
