I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Someone shattered a urinal.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
