2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
