There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
