i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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