I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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