Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
