so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
