First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
