I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
