Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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