It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
