I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
