So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
