u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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