Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
