So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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