i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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