Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
