do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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