Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize