they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
