I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
