Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
