Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Randomize