piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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