is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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