ya dads aren't the best wingmen
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
i think i just lost a toe
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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