You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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