I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
