as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
