You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
