That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
