So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You have to summon your inner elephant
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize