yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
