p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize