You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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