mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
How external is "for external use only"?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
