Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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