I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
