I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
