I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
