Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I have post one night stand depression
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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