i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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