why didn't you poke me back
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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