Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
bring money and cleavage
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
