i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
