Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
