im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
