I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Randomize
