Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
