My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
