so that wasnt chicken after all
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
