ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
