thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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