are you still at the devil's house?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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