I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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