I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
