Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
