can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
do herpes really smell.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
