I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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