she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
