This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
