dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I touched a dick in church today
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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