Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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